These last couple of months have been, to say the least, transformational. I am really getting to the core of who I am and what it is that I want from life. I am re-evaluating every single choice, thought, pattern…etc. that has created my life thus far. I am gutting out the old to make room for the new. Someone I hadn’t seen in a while recently asked me, “What’s going on in your life?” My response? A complete and total remodel.
It has been excruciatingly painful to pull myself apart and really take a look into the depths of who I am. Some may think me masochistic for some of the choices I’ve made recently. They may see it as self-inflicted emotional torture. Sometimes it feels that way. But I am just getting down to the truth. It is painful to pull away from entanglements with illusions and games. But I could feel parts of me dying with every moment I continued to lie to myself. I find myself with very little tolerance for anything that is not genuine these days. I trust myself 100% and if something does not feel kosher, I won’t waste my time with it for even a minute.
So what did Myspace ever do to me? What has it done to society is more the question. I understand that people are busy these days and old fashioned ways of communicating become harder especially when there is distance involved. But I think, much like the ego mind, social networking sites have over extended what they were originally intended to be used for. They reel you in to believe you will be able to connect to more people if you belong to these movements. I have found quite the opposite to be true.
We have traded quantity for quality. Yes, it seems like a great idea to be able to tell anyone who will listen exactly what you are up to every minute of every day. It’s very convenient for hundreds of your friends to feel like they know what’s going on in your world. But for someone like me, I would rather just one person in the world really know me, to really experience me, than for hundreds or even thousands of people to feel like they have a window into my life. I can tell you from experience that these virtual friendships are just that, Virtual. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and try to bring a virtual friendship into reality. Suddenly, a person you thought you knew, your “friend”, you realize you don’t know at all.
Even people you first meet in person quickly become just another Myspace “friend”. Its absolutely maddening. Don’t people meet for coffee anymore to catch up with each other’s lives? Well why would they? Its so much more convenient to check Twitter updates, read blogs, and send text messages. You know what’s happening. You know how everyone is feeling, what they’re going through, what grocery store they shop at, what grade they got on their finals, but all you really know is rootless information. We have been desperately missing out on experiencing each other. Exchanging energy. Feeling. Seeing. Touching. Tasting what its like to be someone else. We have been missing out on a world with a depth of amazing possibilities. The world of knowing another. Experiencing another.
I refuse to be a part of the madness any longer. I’ve done it for too long. I will still be using Myspace and other sites for networking because that is what they are meant for. But I refuse to continue to develop “relationships” online. I don’t want to read your thoughts. I want to hear your voice. I want to feel your energy. I want to experience you. I want to know you. And I want you to know me. Granted, there are many who are not nearby or who lead busy lives and online communication is the best that can be done at times. But it is only a substitute in the meantime. It is never meant to be the only way.
I encourage you to reach out and really connect with people. Have a dinner party. Go for a walk. Meet up for coffee. Go somewhere you’ve never been before. Whatever it is that you are into. Spend time with one another. Take the time. Make the time for new people in your life. Expand your horizons. Be open to new experiences. I assure you that you will experience a richness of life that you had forgotten existed.
May your New Year be blessed.
-Natty B.
