I think I’m falling in love with you.

There are times like this when I feel alienated from the world.

I don’t know if I belong here.

My choices are unpopular.

My path rarely traveled.

My heart is sad today.

I’m feeling alone.

Sometimes I wonder why I’m here at all.

Is any of this worth it?

You’re not mine and I know this.you try to hide it,but I can see it…I don’t know why you keep coming back to me. We have this connection that is so electrifying its hard to resist, I think that’s why you come to me instead of her. We have this silly,new love brewing, nervous yet comfortable connection.
My first memory of a spark was when we met the 3rd time and even though there were tons of people at the bar, our eyes always found each others,and a shy smile always took over my lips. I moved towards the bathroom and as I waited I felt a hand on my arm,of course it was you. Read the rest of this entry »

Confident as a woman lover. I must say I get quite amused by the hetero sex. I’ll share a very recent experience with you. I met up with a couple, new friends, male and female, both beautiful and passionately erotic. We started the evening at her industrial condo, candles, sake, sushi, music, and paint art, experienced. The tingle was in the air, no words had to be spoken. The laughs, the fixated eyes, the body gestures…the request to play. Pounce, Touch, bite, grasp, grope, rub, grind, suck, nip, tug…fuck. My request was simple. I will watch you two fuck. I am not one who watches porn. I do feel that there is a difference between watching it on TV and in front of your eyes, for you. This was for me. I am known to be a voyeur. Read the rest of this entry »

When I was about twelve years old I saw a show with my family about predictions for the future of the world. One segment explained how the world was going to blow to pieces in the year 2000. That night I laid in bed calculating just how long I had until I was going to die. I was going to die at sixteen. Oh man, sixteen, that is an important age. I had been planning for years all the things I was going to do at sixteen; but, since I was going to die only one thing mattered. I could not die a virgin. Read the rest of this entry »

I have everything that I could possibly need. Yes, I’m blessed in many areas. I have a man, and yes, he treats me so well that I couldn’t really ask for more. But lately I’ve been having these curiosity’s that’s been working my brain. I’m heterosexual (as far as I know)..lol…but I have a stronnnng attraction for beautiful women. He knows this. But that’s about all that he knows. He doesn’t know that I fantasize and have dreams about women. And that sometimes I’d even imagine what it’s like to be with one sexually, just to confirm whetha it’s JUST a curiosity, or something more. Read the rest of this entry »

my whole life i’ve felt like a stranger in my own body. now that i am finally comfortable with my butchness, my life has taken a greater twist than i ever imagined. it’s amazing to be who i am and to know who i am and not give 2 shits what anyone thinks…

My heart is breaking. I don’t know how much more I can take.

I wonder….

Why did I let you in…..

Tonight I wish you’d never found me again. Why did you? I’m in over my head for the first time in many, many years. I can’t decide if this is my punishment for being spoiled or exactly what I need. Or both. It’s probably both. All I know is I’m completely, ridiculously and irreversibly in love with you, and I’m afraid. I haven’t been this afraid in a long time and I’m no longer used to it.

I want to get away but of course, naturally, that’s impossible. You’re on TV, you’re online, you’re on my little buddy list and technically you’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing, other than take something from me – with a smile, with a laugh, with a fuck and a kiss under the sky and here I am now. Drinking alone, unable to comprehend what’s happened to me. How did I let this happen? How you can just… own me this way, whether you know it or not? You probably have no idea, that’s the best part.

We just spoke last night, and less than 24 hours later it’s been longer than I can comfortably take anymore. I feel like a junkie. This is unacceptable.